Episode #33 - Rhonda's breastfeeding journey
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In this episode, Rhonda shares about her ups and downs of breastfeeding with her first daughter Sadie.
This was an emotional story for Rhonda to share.
We hope this conversation helps you feel less alone if you also struggled with breastfeeding. ❤️
🎧 Make sure to listen to the full episode for more!
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Episode #33 - Rhonda's breastfeeding journey
We're excited to have you join us for this episode of Pelvic Health and Fitness. I'm Dayna Morellato, Mom, Orthopedic and Pelvic Health Physiotherapist. And I'm Rhonda Chamberlain, Mom, Orthopedic Physiotherapist and Pre Postnatal Fitness Coach. On this show, we have open and honest conversations about all phases of motherhood, including fertility, pregnancy, birth, postpartum, menopause, and everything in between.
We also provide helpful education and information on fitness, the pelvic floor, and many aspects of women's health, including physical, mental, and emotional wellness. Please remember as you listen to this podcast that this is not meant to treat or diagnose any medical conditions. Please contact your medical provider if you have specific questions or concerns.
Thanks so much for joining us. Grab a cup of coffee. Or wine. And enjoy!
Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the pelvic health and fitness podcast. Rhonda here, and I am about to give a try to a solo episode. Um, Dayna and I have had busy summers and, um, it's been challenging to schedule times to chat. So we figured this will be something we'll do here and there, um, just to get some episodes out when we are both pretty busy.
So my turn to try it. And so I will say in advance, I apologize if there's dog noises in the background. Uh, normally I put myself in the basement, but I like to be upstairs when I can. So, um, if you hear Hurley in the background, I apologize. And I will say right off the bat as well, I'm going to be sharing a bit of a vulnerable emotional story today, um, with my breastfeeding journey.
And so I won't apologize for this, but just to forewarn you, I may get emotional. Um, still a lot of emotions tied to that first experience. So yeah, I want to share the story with you all in the hopes that if you are someone that's listening, that perhaps is struggling with breastfeeding. Or you've been through this yourself.
And it's nice to hear stories to relate and to feel less alone. Um, that's why I want to share that today. So I've shared my story on Instagram before, but there is something different about sharing it verbally. Um, and it's good for me too. I find, you know, therapy has proven this, that if I kind of talk through the emotions and the experiences, um, it helps me process it as well.
Um, and I will say right off the bat. to that. I don't intend for this conversation to be polarizing or to, um, tell you what to do. If you are someone that's struggling with breastfeeding, um, this is just my story. I truly believe there's nuance to every conversation and every experience is different. Um, so yeah, so just have a listen and again, let me know if this resonates with you.
I would love to hear back from you. If this hearing my story is helpful for you. So with Sadie, so my first daughter was born in 2017, and I had a midwife for both of my pregnancies and deliveries, and that was a wonderful experience, nothing but great things to say about both of my pregnancies. times. And so when I went into that pregnancy and just talking about what my delivery was going to be and what my postpartum experience was going to be, I had really great chats with my one midwife in particular.
She was the one I saw most, um, about breastfeeding. So it came up probably midway through pregnancy. Um, sort of what my thoughts were about breastfeeding, whether I would be interested in trying it or not. And so I shared with my midwife at that time that I had had, I had had a, um, breast reduction and that was, I think it was 2007.
Um, Sadie was born in 2017. So it was about nine, 10 years ago, um, when I was pregnant. And so. Pam, my midwife, was very open about discussing that, and she basically let me know that the research would show, uh, with the type of procedure I had, which they, um, did an incision around my areola to remove breast tissue and then sewed back around my nipple area.
So with that particular surgery, um, there was, she said probably about a 50 percent chance that I would still be able to breastfeed. Um, but just having an open mind that if it wasn't going to work, um, what, how I would feel about that and what other options there might be. And so it's interesting thinking back to that time because through, I would say both pregnancies, I was very much a.
Ignorance is bliss person. And I didn't do a lot of research. I didn't look up many stats about much in general in terms of postpartum. And so I would say I was super open minded to either scenario. So I, I was really wanting and hoping to be able to try to breastfeed, but yeah, during that pregnancy phase, I was very open about maybe not being able to breastfeed and you know, being okay with formula feeding, um, or trying a combo of the two.
And so I thought I, you know, was again, just very open minded. I thought I wasn't going to be upset or emotional if breastfeeding didn't work. Maybe I was overly optimistic that it would work or again, maybe just the emotions of postpartum, just, you can't predict that. And so I don't think I was prepared.
for how hard that journey truly was postpartum. And I feel like I hear this with a lot of moms and clients that I speak with. There isn't, you know, we get so much information and advice during pregnancy, but I personally, you know, my midwives were amazing, but I think. Yeah, again, maybe it was my fault.
Maybe I didn't look into things enough, but I didn't really hear many discussions about the struggles of breastfeeding and whether that's again, just like I did have some friends share about it, but maybe it's one of those things until you go through it yourself. Um, those conversations just don't land or.
Yeah, I don't know what that was. But I, anyways, I felt like there wasn't a lot of discussion in my life about how hard breastfeeding can be and might be. And so, yeah, so my pregnancy was great with Sadie. Um, again, just open minded in terms of what breastfeeding might look like. And so, I delivered her vaginally, um, and immediately tried to get Sadie on to my breast immediately postpartum.
Um, and I, I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this too. Like I just was so lost and so like confused and How does this work? And is she supposed to just figure this out? Am I supposed to just figure this out? And so I think my midwives, you know, maybe their, their role is just to, to get the baby to the boob and just maybe hope that something happens.
And so, so Sadie would be on my boob, but I didn't feel anything happening. I didn't know if anything was supposed to feel like things were happening. Um, anyways, there's you, you all know, listening, if you've had children, there are just so many emotions happening in that very, very early stage of delivering your baby.
So I was moved to a room to recover. Um, Sadie ended up being jaundiced. So we ended up staying, I think, two or three nights with her, just to get her bilirubin levels up. And so during that time, so she was wrapped in these, this UV blanket. Um, she had, you know, the goggles on. If you have had children that went through that, you know what I'm talking about.
Um, and so during the night, I would still be trying to breastfeed her. Um, again, I just, I never knew if anything was happening. I never, I had some nurses come in and kind of just make sure she was okay. I do think now that I'm thinking about it, I think, um, Sadie was given formula. Yeah, she was. So she was given formula in the hospital because, um, I think getting.
Calories into her was going to also help with the bilirubin levels. So I think just because she was struggling with that, um, I do remember that now that the nurses were, uh, encouraging just a bit of supplementation, which again, I was super open minded to, so that was fine. And so it wasn't until I think it was our last, yeah, it was, it was our last day in the hospital.
I had, I think she was a nursing student come into the room and. You know, she was the first person that kind of checks the latch and kind of like, you know, watch me breastfeed. And she asked me, she said, can you feel something happening? Like, can you feel her sucking? And I said, not really, like, what am I supposed to feel?
And she said, it should feel like a pretty strong sucking feeling said, no, I definitely don't feel that. And she said, okay, I'm going to try something. So she, so she asked if I had a nipple shield. And again, I was new to all this. I'm like. No, what is that? No, I don't have that. And so what she was saying, and so this is, you know, nothing's TMI on this podcast and you're going to learn a lot about my body, but I, maybe it was from the surgery.
My nipples didn't protrude easily. So they're always pretty flat and yeah, they didn't stick out easily. So they weren't inverted, but they were flat. And so she said, Probably what's happening is there's not enough there for Sadie to, to grasp. So a nipple shield might be beneficial. So what she did was she just grabbed the top of a baby bottle.
Um, cause there was no nipple shields around in the hospital and attach that to my nipple and then had Sadie suck from that. And like immediately I was like, Oh my goodness, this feels different. Like I can actually feel sucking happening. Um, I'm not sure if anything came out, um, probably just a bit of colostrum at that point, but that was the first time I was like, Oh my goodness, I can actually feel something happening.
So I was hopeful at that point, because again, up until that point, I didn't feel anything. So that was pretty cool. And so she recommended to me just again, because of my anatomy, because of the structure of my nipples that have it using a nipple shield might be worthwhile. So I, I'm pretty sure we left the hospital and picked up some nipple shields right away from shoppers, um, and got those home with us.
So I got home probably day three or day four. And the really amazing thing with midwives is they, um, are home doing checkups with you right away and, you know, weighing Sadie to make sure she was gaining weight. And so. So, yeah, I think early on, I'm trying to remember, I think because she was given supplementation of formula in the hospital, I think we did continue that right from the get go, because again, I was open to that, having a bit of both, um, just because she had struggled with the jaundice, so I think just to keep her calories up, we did continue that, but I was still breastfeeding, you know, every hour with her, You know, trying both sides using the nipple shield, because if I didn't use the nipple shield, I felt nothing.
I felt no sucking happening. So the nipple shield was needed, um, for my body. And so it was quite a process. So I think again, right from the get go, we did a bit of both. So I would like breastfeeder on each side, which would take, I think the midwife just again, just to get that stimulation of my nipples and to try to like encourage that milk supply to come.
I think she would be like, 20 minutes on one side, 20 minutes on the other, which I know is like super common early on, but yeah, so 40 minutes. And then it would be like a 20 minute bottle feed at the end. So it'd be like a whole hour process. She would maybe then sleep for a bit and then it started all over again.
So right from the get go, I was super overwhelmed just with the time that it took. And again, I know this is super common, but. I wasn't prepared for that. Um, and again, because you know, my milk supply maybe wasn't great. And again, probably you all listening might be thinking like, Oh, it's because she was supplementing or, you know, there's, I'm sure factors playing in here that didn't help, but I do think my body and having had a breast reduction and the anatomy of my nipples all factored in, I don't think I had a really large, um, milk supply either.
Cause even, so yeah, during all that time I would feed on both sides and then bottle feed. And then I was also pumping. So I would pump and I would get barely anything pumping. So in my opinion, I think my milk supply just never was great. So even when I would pump, you know, I'd hear stories of women getting like, Um, from each side and I would maybe get like an ounce on each side.
So like, it wasn't very much at all right from the get go. And so it was a lot. And so I remember again, just being very hopeful and very. Encouraged from my midwives to keep trying and that, you know, she was, she must have been getting something from me because we weren't giving her that much in terms of formula and she was healthily gaining weight.
They weren't concerned about that, which was amazing. She was peeing and pooping, you know, how you have to track everything, all of that was fine. So I don't, yeah, I don't think they were necessarily too concerned about my milk supply. Um, you know, Probably was low. Um, we chatted about, but you know, having a mixture of the two seemed to be working.
Okay. So yeah, so that was, you know, the first couple of weeks of just, you know, trying that doing all of that. But again, I remember just feeling so overwhelmed by the time it took. And many women say this and many women say, you know, it gets faster when you keep trying, but I, something about it didn't feel good for my mental health.
I just felt like it was a revolving door. I remember, I think probably like week two, she would be like cluster feeding, you know, going through a growth spurt. And I literally felt like I was, you know, stuck to the couch feeding my child. And for me too, I didn't. Love breastfeeding in front of people. I think, um, for those of you who use a nipple shield will know what I'm talking about.
It's a lot of like finagling trying to get it in place and trying to get Sadie latched. Um, and then, you know, trying to use a cover. And again, I know. Many of you are comfortable just kind of whipping out the boob in front of people. And I, that's just, wasn't me not to say that there's anything wrong with that.
I just didn't feel comfortable. And so, yeah, so having people come over was stressful for me. So I try to like time my feeds properly. Anytime I had, um, company over to make sure that. I was alone to do it. You know, there were times that we'd be visiting Jay's family and I would go to another room and just feel like I was missing out all things.
I know you can all relate to, but again, just sharing kind of my thoughts about it all. And so, yeah, so around week two, she went through this like cluster feed phase and it just was a lot. I remember just. You know, crying a J and just being like, is this my life? And I don't know if this is what I expected.
And this is just a lot for me. And through this time, I will say like my husband, Jay was so, so supportive. And, you know, I think even from early on, he's like, you know, if you don't want to breastfeed, it's okay. You don't have to. I'm like, I know, but I think this was what was surprising to me. And maybe it shouldn't have been surprising.
Cause I am sort of a type a. Competitive individual. So I think that like type a athlete brain, which we talk about on the podcast set in, and I just didn't want to be a quitter. And so, yeah, I would hear him. And my sister was very wonderful during this time as well. And just, I think again, right from that first couple of weeks of me having a really hard time with it.
Yeah. Basically, you know, said to me, you have the option to stop, you know that. Right. And I know, I know, but I'm going to keep trying. And I was very adamant that I would keep trying. So yeah. Um, so yeah, week two was that cluster feed time, which was a lot for me and I just felt so drained um, from it all.
And during that time I would, you know, keep pumping. So it was just a lot. So it would be again, like 40 minutes of breastfeeding, you know, 20 minutes of bottle feeding, and then like another 20 minutes of pumping. And then again, you all know there's phases where they're eating every two hours. I think Sadie ate every two hours for like the first four to six weeks.
And so literally just felt nonstop. And I just. Felt so overwhelmed. And yeah, I think I'm trying to remember when like her colic ness kicked in. So I think maybe around like week three or four, she started to become super colicky and, you know, she'd be happy as can be post feed. Um, and then, you know, like 20, 30 minutes after her feed, she probably was getting tired and this was another sort of struggle we went through with Sadie.
She wouldn't settle like we would, you know, do all the things, rock her, pat her bum, try all these things to get her to fall asleep. And she wouldn't. And so looking back, who knows, right? Babies are little puzzles, but part of me wonders if she just wasn't maybe getting enough food. Cause I remember. My midwife telling me like a good indication of if they are full is they get sort of like that milk drunk phase where they'll be attached to the boob and they'll just, you can pick up their arm and it will just fall down.
I rarely got to that point with Sadie. Like I feel like Yeah, there'd be a couple times maybe after her bottle, she'd get there. But many, many times she'd be just so rigid. And so, yeah, that's where I try not to get too emotional here, but thinking back, I just, you know, sometimes part of me felt like maybe she was just hungry and that's where the collicky-ness came from.
Um, again, so many factors involved in that. So I don't blame myself and I'm not. And, you know, I don't have regrets because it's all part of my story and it's all part of learning as a new mom, as you all know, there's a lot of learning that goes involved. Um, but yeah, I do wonder if maybe she just wasn't getting enough because it was a fine line for me.
I didn't want to give her too much formula because then, you know, she'd rely on that and not be getting enough from me. So, yeah, it was quite the balancing act, that's for sure. So in that time, um, again, my midwives were always wonderful. And I remember they said to me a few times, you know, like it's always an option to stop.
Um, you know, if your mental health is struggling, then, you know, switching to formula feeding fully is 100 percent an option. And I appreciated that. Um, but they did say, you know, there's other options in terms of going to see, um, lactation consultants. And so again, because I was that competitive person and didn't want to quit, I said, yep, let's explore all the options.
So we went to our first lactation consultant appointment and right away they diagnosed Sadie with a lip and tongue tie. So they said that potentially could be part of the reason she wasn't latching well. And so we had those snips and, um, for again, those of you that have been through that, no, it's not the most fun experience.
Um, but you know, it was, she healed quickly from it. And, uh, we were hopeful that that would help. So after that, I, so I went through phases of like trying without the nipple shield, but I just could never get that, like, suck sucking feeling, uh, without the nipple shield. So pretty much the nipple shield was what I used the entire time.
And that was a process too, because you had to clean them after every feed and you had to make sure you knew where they were. So I think I ended up getting like a bunch of them just so they were scattered around the house. Um, so that was a struggle in and of itself, just trying to keep track of them. Um, so yeah, I never could get to the point of not using the nipple shield, even after the lip and tongue tie, uh, snip.
That didn't truly change much in terms of my experience with breastfeeding. I was hopeful it would, but it didn't really change a whole lot. And so, yeah, I came back from that appointment, basically just doing the same thing. They, you know, gave me some options and some ideas to try for like different latching, different holding, um, a bunch of things to try, which I did try all of those.
And yeah, I felt, I honestly felt really frustrated leaving that appointment because yeah, they gave me things to try and. I had already tried all those things with my midwife. Um, yeah, so I didn't feel, I felt encouraged with the lip and tongue tie because I was hopeful that would be the game changer, but it wasn't.
And so, so through a friend of mine who's a nurse, she hooked me up with another lactation consultant. Um, and this lady, they were, I, I won't, you know, fault these consultants because I know it's their job to encourage women to breastfeed and to give all the options. to continue breastfeeding. Um, but I will say it again.
Maybe this is just me being sensitive. I felt just very disappointed and frustrated after both of my appointments with the consultants. And so the second one, she was wonderful. And again, just hopeful in the sense of, you know, there's so many things we can try, um, to get your supply up and to get baby latching.
And so that appointment, she talked about, um, a contraption where There'd be a tube, um, with formula sort of like running along my breast and then, um, going right at my nipple. And so basically that contraption would be set up with formula, but then as Sadie is sucking on that tube, that's right at my nipple.
She'd be, you know, encouraging more milk supply because she's, she's sucking the formula, but she's also sucking on my breast. And so that was interesting and again, I was, I was thankful for these options, but I just remember being in that appointment and thinking, there's no way in hell I'm going to do this.
And again, some people use that and some people have much success and end up not needing that device anymore because then again, the, you know, sucking on the nipple stimulates more um, milk supply, all of that jazz, like all the science made sense to me. But I just remember being in that appointment again, just thinking like, this seems so complicated and so, you know, many steps to get it set up.
And I just can't picture myself doing this with every single feed. And so, yeah, I just was in that appointment thinking like, again, this is not their job to say, but I almost wished one of the lactation consultants or both of them would have said, you know, these are your options, try this, this, this, and this, but just so you know, an option is also to stop.
And neither of them said that. So I just. left both appointments in tears and feeling like a failure and feeling hopeless that there wasn't anything else I could do. And other than all these complicated things to try. And, um, so yeah, when it came down to it, like I left that second appointment. Um, so maybe Sadie was like five weeks old or something at that point.
I left that appointment, like leaning really far more towards, I just don't want to do this anymore. And so, yeah, got home, talked to my husband and, you know, shared my struggles, shared my frustrations. And again, he was so supportive. He's like, you can stop. And yeah, but still that competitive side of me was like, okay.
I'm going to try some of the things she suggested. I didn't end up getting that contraption because right away that was a hell no for me. And so I didn't try that route. And again, maybe had I done it, it would have ended up in a more successful story, but I just didn't want to. And I feel like that's a valid.
Part of my journey to that, you know, it comes down to choices, and that was a choice. I just didn't want to make and I was not interested. And so I said no. And so kind of just continued status quo doing what I was doing. So the super long feeds of feed on one side, feed on the other. feed with a bottle and then pump.
Um, yeah. And even when I would pump, I would barely get anything. So that was starting to feel like a loss cause too. Um, during that time, one of my really great friends, she was the first of our group of friends to have a baby. And she had a really tough breastfeeding story as well. Um, more so dealing with mastitis.
And so she ended up just exclusively pumping. So chatted with her and she was wonderful as well. I'm so lucky. I had such great support system during this time. And yeah, she was another person that said to me, like, you know, Rhonda, like you don't have to breastfeed your baby's going to be a Sadie's going to be healthy either way.
Um, if this is affecting your mental health, you don't have to. And she, you know, was open and shared with me her story and how hard it was. And so ending up, you know, exclusively pumping was helpful for her and, you know, she was successful that way. But yeah, I remember she asked me like, how much milk do you get when you pump?
And I said, like, maybe an ounce. On each side, sometimes like an ounce total. And she was like, oh, okay. And she, I'm probably messing up the numbers, but she would get way more. So maybe like five to six ounces aside. And so, yeah, part of me was like, oh man. And she's like, honestly, if I were you, like that wouldn't be worth it to keep pumping.
So that kind of hit me. I was like, yeah, why am I doing this for like barely anything? Um, so that was part of it as well. And so, yeah. So again, during this time, Sadie was continuing to be colicky where she would be. Happy for, you know, 10, 15 minutes after her feed, and then just get into this like miserable phase where nothing would settle her.
And so we, you know, met with, um, one of my friends to help with her sleeping, um, which helped a ton. But during that time, so now Sadie would have been about six weeks old, um, I remember having a really honest and open conversation with Jay. So I think just at that point, like the frustration of her being colicky and the breastfeeding and, you know, I was struggling to get her to go to bed at night.
So I wasn't sleeping. And even when I would, you know, get her down, I'd be Googling everything and, you know, trying to find out different ways to breastfeed better. And yeah, so really You know, looking back, I was dealing with postpartum anxiety at that point, just so anxious about everything and just anxious that I wasn't doing it right and anxious that I was a failure, um, anxious that, you know, I was almost resentful of my daughter, which I've, you know, that'll be another episode I should talk about because I think that's important to say out loud to you that it's okay to have resentful feelings towards your child when it's.
And so all of these thoughts going through my head. And so I just said to Jay, I'm like, I don't know if this is postpartum depression or what, but I admitted to him that I was really struggling. And so that day, again, my husband's wonderful. And he, so he called my sister. My sister and I are super close and he said, Joe, like Rhonda's struggling.
I'm getting emotional because just so thankful for Jay and my sister during that time. Yeah, he called my sister and said, I think Rhonda needs to leave and get out of the house and, uh, just have a moment away from Sadie. Cause I think up until that point, again, my competitiveness, I was home with her nonstop, like trying to breastfeed, trying to get her to sleep, trying all these things.
And so I. felt it was on me because Jay told me many times to get out of the house and it was on me to say like, no, I need to be here. I need to figure this out. And so, yeah, that day he basically said, you're, you're leaving and you're going somewhere with your sister. So my sister and I had an afternoon away from the house and I was worried as all can be that.
She said he wasn't going to be okay. And of course Jay was fine and gave her a couple of bottles and she did great. And, uh, yeah. So during that outing basically, you know, said to my sister, like, this is hard and I'm struggling and I don't know what to do. And yeah, she basically, and again, all along she was saying this, but just laid it out.
And she said, maybe you just need to stop. Like maybe the breastfeeding is a big part of. This, you know, struggle that you're going through right now. It's hasn't been easy for you from day one. Um, maybe it's time to just stop. And yeah, so in that moment I said, I think you're right. And I think this is what I need to do.
And so came home and yeah, just said to Jay, I think I'm done breastfeeding. And again, he was wonderful. I said, okay, that's fine. So let's get some formula. And so we stocked up on formula. Um, yeah, honestly, I, I think I felt more guilt and more frustration. over the decision when I was breastfeeding. I think once I made that decision and once I, you know, drew the line in the sand that enough is enough, I just felt relief.
I felt so relieved. Um, yeah, my whole demeanor changed. I feel like that it was like I was living in the dark and all of a sudden the light came on and just. Something about making that decision just felt like the right decision for me. So yeah, we got Sadie on a bottle on formula from that point forward.
Um, so a mixture I think of that of probably like her sensing my, you know, more calm nature and I became more confident. I think looking back, it was like, My intuition was telling me to stop and I just kept fighting it. And so once I gave into that choice and said, this is what's right for me, I became more confident as a mom, which sounds opposite.
Cause you think of your, again, um, society might say like I quit breastfeeding, but I didn't see it that way. I saw, I saw it as choosing me and choosing Sadie, right? Cause I think again, looking back, I think she was hungry a lot of the time. And so when we switched to just purely formula feeding.
Everything changed. So she started sleeping better. She was happier. Like that colicky nest started to settle down. I started to feel better. My mental health got better. You know, I started to be able and I could have left the house before this time, but I felt better to leave the house knowing that Jay could feed her a bottle.
Um, Jay was able to help me with the nighttime feeds. So night and day things just got better and better from that point on. Um, not to say that we didn't have struggles because again, still those first few months of, of especially that first child are challenging, but I would say that was a game changing moment and things just got so much better.
So yeah, she continued to be formula fed from that point on and is a healthy, happy, vibrant, almost five year old girl now. Um, and I have zero regrets. I would say my only. Regret is maybe I should have stopped sooner, but again, that was my story. I gave it a good, solid effort for six weeks, um, and that was enough.
So, yeah, um, thank you for listening. And if you, you know, resonate with my story, I'd love to hear from you. Um, so when I moved on to my second, uh, pregnancy and postpartum experience with Teagan, my second daughter, who was born in 2019. I knew from day one that I wasn't even going to try breastfeeding. I just.
Yeah, again, my intuition was like, just, just stick with your gut and go with what feels right. And for me, it felt right to just formula feed from day one. And I will say, I'm so thankful that that experience was wonderful as well. Um, in the hospital, I didn't have any. judgment, any comments, any questions necessarily about it.
Basically just, are you breastfeeding or formula feeding? I said, formula feeding, they brought me formula. I didn't have to even use my own at the hospital. My midwives were incredible and just supported me 100 percent every step of the way. Um, Jay, my husband again, didn't question that decision. He's like, yep, do what's what's right for you and your body.
And so we formula fed Teagan from day one and, you know, a mixture of being, I think our second child and just having more mom confidence. And I think having made that decision right off the bat. My postpartum experience was way, way better with Teagan, again, still struggles. The early postpartum phase is still a challenge and the lack of sleep is no joke, but overall I handled that postpartum experience so much better.
Um, the funny thing is I will share just one last story. Um, so you'd think that, you know, formula feeding, bottle feeding. It's going to be sort of like an equal, um, partnership with your husband, um, to feed the baby, which it was. And Jay was always so helpful. He would help with nighttime feeds, but Teagan, I was just looking back at memories of this.
She went through a phase where she wouldn't take a bottle from Jay. She would fight it and cry and be so fussy. Anytime he tried to give her a bottle. Um, even if I wasn't there. So I thought, you know, at least if I'm gone, she has no choice, but she was still fight it. And she was very stubborn. Um, and knowing Teagan now she can have that stubborn streak to her.
So that makes sense. Um, but yeah, she went through a phase of probably like a good month where she just refused to take a bottle from Jay. So that's just funny because again, um, you assume with formula feeding, it's going to be a lot easier for those types of things. But that was an interesting challenge for us.
Um, but after that she got better and yeah, I was so helpful. It was so helpful and I was so thankful to have Jay's help through it all with feeding. Um, so yeah, so that is my breastfeeding story. Um, I'd love to hear from you. Let me know if this story resonates with you, if you have your own. story. I'd love to hear it as well.
And again, this is not to say that this is what you should do. If you are going through something similar, sorry, you can hear Hurley walking around in the background. Um, but just, I think the more stories like this we hear and that we share the better. Um, to help us feel less alone because I did have moments of feeling very alone.
And since sharing my story on Instagram, I have had a lot of people reach out to me and say, thank you for sharing. And I have heard and listened to a lot of stories similar to mine as well. Um, and I think it's just so important, you know, like the, the ups and downs of motherhood are real and we all try to do our best and be our best.
But, uh, I think again, just understanding that it's not going to be easy and just having these stories. Um, to listen to and to feel less alone is so important. So thank you all for listening and I'll talk to you soon. Thanks for listening to today's podcast. We hope you enjoyed the conversation. If you liked what you heard, we would love if you could share this with a friend, leave us a review or subscribe to anywhere that you listen to your podcasts.
Thanks for being here.
